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On
Forgiveness
©1997 Frank Sant'Agata
It is the nature of our egos to want an apology, to seek revenge--punishment--suffering
from one who did us wrong. In truth, only our own thoughts about
an incident can make us feel attacked or violated. We play the
scene over and over in our minds, and feel we were the victim
of this person's actions. Thus is the attack validated, made
real to us, and given all the sustaining power to cause us pain.
When we forgive, we acknowledge that nothing has the power to
hurt the Son of God, our true identity. What ever it was that
someone seemed to do had no effect on us. If a person was being
rude or hurtful, accept that this was their nature, and it had
nothing to do with you. We accept this about animals--if a dog
barks or digs up the garden that is its nature; if a cat claws
the furniture, we may be upset for a moment, but very quick to
forgive. That is because we are not dealing directly with the
pet's ego. We understand that the creature did not act that way
to hurt or injure us. Their nature is accepted as we need to
accept the nature of people who are at a stage in their spiritual
development in which they believe that is the way to be.
Remember, when a person seemingly attacks, it is because they
fear something. If we can be insightful enough to recognize their
fears, it becomes easy to see the cause of their actions. On
the other hand, if we react to a perceived attack, we are also
doing so with fear. Find the fear that was precipitated by that
attack, as the Holy Spirit would have you do, so that you may
work on that phase of your own spiritual development. Salvation
and forgiveness are our only true function. We need to ultimately
let go of all our fears, and replace them with love, to fulfill
that function.
So, a workable forgiveness process can be:
Open your awareness to the attacker's fears, acknowledge them
and forgive him for having them. Accept that until that person
grows, the fears will be present, and may result in behavior
that can be perceived as attack. This is the "nature of
the beast."
Become aware of the fears that we have that were activated by
the perceived attack.
Ask the Holy Spirit to teach us where these fears came from,
so that we may learn to let them go.
Forgive ourselves for having those fears, and work on replacing
them with love.
Relax in the Peace of God that follows, as you learn these steps.
Father,
in my most desperate moments, hold a light to guide me to true
understanding of my brother's actions and help me to understand
his fears. Let me not perceive his actions as attack, but accept
them as errors. Keep me from reacting with fear, but with compassion.
He is your Son as I am too. Let me not hold any grievances against
your Son and Myself. As I forgive Him, so shall I forgive Myself.
You have never condemned, and so, have no need to forgive. Teach
me through these lessons that I may be as You are my Father.
Amen
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